Charley got fixed yesterday. She was 4 years old and part of the reason I held off was, well, the $850.00 bill to get her fixed at her vet’s office, and I also thought that she would make a beautiful mother with beautiful puppies.

But could I accommodate them and is my little apartment big enough for more little beings in it?

The pound worked for a fraction of the cost, but the wait was 3 months.

I felt sad as I took her to get spayed at the city pound for $206.00, which covered the procedure, yearly shots, and a stylish, clear Elizabethan collar.

But I wasn’t sad about all of that. I was sad because I’ve had so many people tell me that she will mellow out once she gets spayed, and she won’t be as nervous. She can get to be a wreck sometimes, especially with loud motorcycles and street racers, which seems to be the norm around here lately.

But, do I really want her to mellow out? I admit when I first got this Border Collie/Australian Shepherd that she was absolutely wearing me out. She was go, go, go and SUPER SCARY SMART (still is) and there seemed no ending to her energy.

I might miss it if what everyone is saying is true. But spaying can help prevent certain cancers, like ovarian and reproductive organ cancers. That’s what I’ve read and been told. Plus it helps with controlling the pet population, which is something that is extremely important.

Going back to her spay, I got a call about 2 hours after I dropped her off that I had to come back and put a muzzle on her because she wasn’t co-operating.

I take the bus. So I had just gotten back to my neighborhood when I got this call. It takes me about 35 minutes each way to get to my destination.

So I turned around as soon as I got off and headed back.

Upon my return, it was a sad moment. She was excited to see me, thinking I was there to pick her up, but instead she saw me with the vet assistants holding a needle and a cloth muzzle, asking me to put it on her.

She did not like it one bit. Not one bit. Once the muzzle was on she was frantically pawing at it to get it off. They ended up ministering the shot in her bum, and within 5 minutes she was a drooling mess laid out on the floor. Totally devastating to see.

Once I picked her up after her surgery, which she didn’t even know who I was, we got home with strict instructions to not have her lick her wound, and to give her pain pills ( 3 ), 1 every 24 hours.

I gave her 2 pills hidden in her morning burger patty, which she quickly ate. However, this morning she refuses to eat the same burger from her special food bowl. She seems to know what’s in it and is currently hiding under the bed, peeking out with pained eyes.

I feel like she sees me as the enemy. She’s only 4 years old. What have I put her through? I’m worried about losing her trust. I took her on a bus ride, made her wear a strange thing on her nose, and gave her medicine in her food. Now she’s hiding under the bed.

Am I ever going to get my little squishy bean back? Man, I don’t know if this spay thing was worth it. It was pretty traumatic to me and I can only imagine what she is thinking.

Hopefully she’ll crawl out from under the bed and welcome me with her wagging tail and smiling little face. She’s just not having it right now.

The only one that seems to be happy about the ordeal is Stella Vader, who has full use of the couch.